But just in the last year or two for no reason, really. Ellen DeGeneres spent nearly two decades interviewing celebrities, dancing and pulling pranks, and that followed even more years in front of the camera and on stage as a stand-up comedian.. I love to drive and I like to drive fast and Im safe, but I do like to go fast and so slow drivers irritate me, because theyre goingso slow and lets be honest. The Suspiria actor made that much very clear in her Nov. 27 appearance on The Ellen Show. If you look at the commercials that areon the air, most every commercial is forsome type of medicine, some kind of pill and I dont knowif youve noticed it the medicine commercials The side effectsare so long that the people on the commercial are running out of activities. Can you do it without? [message received noise] [crowd laughs] I send her this. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. Theres not a lot of option at most restaurants. Ellen DeGeneres : "I'll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Im not just a spokesperson, Im a gay. Ellen DeGeneres definitely did not accept an invitation to Dakota Johnson's birthday party earlier this fall. She had a gawky, tomboyish persona, but her fans seemed to have no trouble seeing. I moved into this tiny basement apartment and you could hardly stand up in it. Class of 2020, parents, teachers, custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards. And its not about the money. Ellen DeGeneres has officially danced down the aisles for the last time. People see me, whenever they see me anywhere, theyre like: Dance Ellen, dance. And Im like Im getting a mammogram. I think youre doing a great job. Are there ten I just guessed. Oh my God, youre so happy Im not vegan. With tear-stained cheeks, Ellen DeGeneres signed off her chatshow for the final time on Thursday, ending a daytime TV juggernaut that had lasted 19 years. I swore Id never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. I got it right there, thank you. Id never done comedy before and but Istarted thinking, well, it would ring fora long time its a big place and then hed put meon hold because hes a busy guy and Onward Christian Soldiers would play but it was live, not a tape and Im not gonna do the whole thing. Take a left at the gift shop, and that is the front door. I think people have a tendency We look atsomebody and we decide we know all aboutthem. Because it is when I realized how strong I was. [crowd laughs] I gotta get the fuck out of here. Im just gonna look down here and touch that. Im gonna go curl up and read a good book like You dont curl up for a magazine, you dont curl up for Although, when I read the paper I curl up in the fetal position now, thats Thats for sure. Emmy-winning talk show host Ellen Lee DeGeneres was born in Metairie, Louisiana, a New Orleans suburb. But now Im countin this Thats Theres hair in it already and you just Now, its like, its grown. You cant do anything about it, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He said: Do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes? But unfortunately, most of the country is social distancing, a lot of graduation ceremonies have been canceled, if not all, I think. Where do you get your protein? Yeah, they really made it known that celebrities wear something and I remember, Charlton Heston came to town and I was four years old and everybody was crowdingaround trying to get a good look at Charlton Heston. Whenever we passsomeone going slow we have to see what they look like. The bar is set pretty low at this moment. Yeah, thats very clever and very fresh, and.. Well, thats wonderful hearing thatfrom you. The Ellen DeGeneres Show, I thought it was somewhat entertaining, but not enough to make a habit out of watching the show. Her brother is musician and producer Vance DeGeneres. Go back and watch the special but Anyway, I finished writing it. Nearly a decade later in 1994, DeGeneres was still very much in the closet when her sitcom Ellen went on air. I had no job, I had no car, no money. Lets call it sometime mid June. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now has been transferred to disc in the full-frame aspect ratio of 1.33:1, and the audio has been mastered in Dolby Digital Surround. Just Hows this gonna go? . Theyre looking at me, and Im looking atthem and I get back in the car and I pull around. Make your content more accessible to people with disabilities. Ill tell you. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. I had a great life. And theyre still looking at me And Im like: I dont wanna looklike an idiot. So, I just filled up the back seat. Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that Shouldnt be a problem. Boss died by suicide at a hotel Tuesday, according to a report from the Los Angeles medical . Im not sure. She And she has no memory either. I thought so, I thought [crowd laughs] Theres nothing more embarrassing than when you pass up a slow driver to showthem the proper way of driving. -Are you in any pain? Actress Lea Thompson, who is perhaps best . They were vaping and And they were like: Its Ellen,oh my God, its Ellen. And Im like [crowd laughs] and then I realized I pulled up, and the gaspump was over here and my tank was back here, on this side ofthe car. I mean [crowd laughs] Its about winning. Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. Ellen Degeneres: (00:47) With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. Do you find yourself in love with, attracted toor just curious about the same sex? Im sweatin in the drawers, yeah, hard and long, yeah I cant No. tWitch: (06:46) And for you? DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. I just [crowd claps] Ill buy a new car, I dont care. You goaround them and show them how they shouldbe driving and then you hit a red light. Ellen Degeneres: (05:38) I mean [crowd laughs] I refuse to be a barbarian anymore. And the haters are gonna hate, hate, hate, hate. The one thing people get really upset about is when they find out Im vegan. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Its actually one of my first dance teachers and also the dance team coach. Do you know why a chicken coop only has two doors? Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up I cant move right now. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up I think it sounded like that. Ellen Degeneres: (04:32) Thank you so much. May 26, 2022, 3:58 PM PDT. We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. Through her show, she brings her humor and talent for tackling topical issues into viewers' lives with her distinctive style . Only when you hit the dance floor, will you dance. Ellen Degeneres: (07:36) Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. Ellen Degeneres: (08:17) She may not be gay. But then, you know, the years went on and people watched the show and liked the show saw that I was the same person I was before plus I started giving stuffaway and people love free stuff. 4. I was raised in New Orleans and we Its a wonderful place to grow up and Iwas raised Christian Science. Andy Lassner: (00:24) There are going to be bad times in life, like whats happening right now. I was also told that today is Chicken Appreciation Day. I appreciate it. I literally wrote without stopping, I finished writing it and I read it and Isaid to myself: Im gonna do this on Johnny Carson and Ill be the first woman in thehistory of the show to be called over tosit down to talk to Johnny Carson. And, I mean, Im in a basementon a mattress with fleas, never done comedy. Oh, and the hummus was good. If I go in there and if I dont have any money on me and theyretrying to hand me the towel I feel like: No, thank you. Yeah. Ellen Degeneres: (02:02) Andy Lassner: (00:50) They believe we are spiritual beings having a material experience in thematerial world and the mantra that theysay is: Know the truth. And the truth is, there is no pain unless you give it pain with your mind. I dont know. Alright, so you would like someone to goin with you? [crowd laughs] Gold toilets. Industry-leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement. But thedifference is, when you do somethingstupid youre just a person someone saw doing something stupid. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (2003) - full transcript Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. And, even though I knew that was gonna be difficult. Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! No, but Ive dined in other places before. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Ellen was introduced by Tulane president Scott Cowen. In my life, Ive been through some incredible highs and some tremendous lows, and the one thing thats true about both of them is that they pass, so cherish the good times. When Ellen DeGeneres announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset. -It is? Ellen Degeneres: (07:49) Ellen DeGeneres has told viewers she is ending her long-running TV show because "I truly have felt like next season was the right time" to bring it to a close. There was this one station manager, and this is a quote: No ones gonna watch it. I a few years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another. And [crowd cheers] Yeah, thats what I thought. 2 Mar. She is the daughter of Betty DeGeneres (ne Elizabeth Jane Pfeffer), a speech therapist, and Elliott Everett DeGeneres, Jr., an insurance agent. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. listening. Theres no reason for me to have a horn. And for the gentleman? Now Id like to talk to you aboutgay. So I get downstairs and my friend isstill down wandering around in thehallway and Im like: What are you still doing here? And hes like: Im lost. And Im like: Ohmy God. How many times have I shown you the frontdoor? Ellen Degeneres: (01:39) Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. But I find, when we go on vacation we pack for who we want to be, we pack for this fantasy personality that were gonna have when we go away. [crowd laughs] [claps] If I have to do that, thats good. I like my job. Does she still have the cats? Because the birds in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar. I just started eating a piece of fish once in a while and Ill eat eggs from chickens that I know. 0:00. Ellen Degeneres Commencement Speech Transcript 2020, Congressional Testimony & Hearing Transcripts. Ellen Degeneres: (05:14) "Ellen DeGeneres" Scripts.com. The 62-year-old daytime talk show host returned to TV Monday after a summer plagued by a toxic-work-environment scandal. The show was actually called "These Friends of Mine" in its first season, but the name was changed to avoid . But you know, so then I grew up going: Oh, celebrities! I guess,everybodys like that but like, I mean, Iwas 16. And thats when you grow and thats what we all want. Youre vegan? [crowd laughs] I cant see. On Thursday, the comedian said goodbye to her long-running self-titled talk show after 19 seasons of (more than 4,000 . Trees have leaves. Alright, Ill remember that. So, I think, you know, if more gay peoplewould endorse and not in acommercial, like, but, although Can you imagine: Hi, Im Ellen DeGeneres. If I have to do that, thatll be good. Maybe its time you try gay. they dont know what to do. I dont know, I just guessed. Hoe, who is you playin wit? Directors Joel Gallen Starring Ellen DeGeneres Genres Comedy, Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Subtitles English [CC] Audio languages English Those look good. Shes actually She is my friend and shehid that from me. They dont. dear Ellen. But I said: What do I do about that? He said: Nothing. Cause Id like it to come out right. Its just so Im filled withanxiety when they come up to the table and they just come up and: And thelady will have? Ellen Degeneres: (07:31) The bathroom attendant used to bea simple thing. Her character, Ellen Morgan, also came out to a therapist played by Winfrey, and the series went on to explore various LGBT issues, including the coming-out process. For the shoes to see themselves, cause youcant. Yeah. I did not. Thats some good marketing right there, isntit? Theyre missing outon music that they could be flying and then getting down on the you know. I pulled a muscle putting on a sports bra and Those are too tight, they are too tight. "I learned. -No, not at all. In November 2019,. I love you. Theres a womanwith a ferret theres a man with a mongoose, theres a lady with a donkey. People arentafraid of it anymore like dandruff. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up DeGeneres sent an email to staffers at "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on. And my dad put me onhis shoulders to get a better look at him cause you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston. Speech-to-Text live streaming for live captions, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition API. Thank God, Ellen. This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. Mazel tov. Oh, yeah. When when you have a house, and the bigger the house the more ladders. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Ill do that, thank you. So its been 15 years since Ive donestand-up and when I decided to do thisspecial a friend of mine was at my house and I told him: Im going to do stand upagain. And he said: Really? And I said: Yeah. Yep, the green beans. -How long youve been doing it? 0:50. I love that expression. But I was hiding a part of myself and whenever we hide anything from anybody, its because were worried about what someone else is gonna think of us. Its like [crowd laughs] Doing the bathmat scoot. So there's that. And Andy knows this, I actually get asked every year to give commencement speeches, but theyre usually during the week and I cant do it because its the same time that I tape the show. I did not graduate college. Buenas tardes, estudiantes. Hes a handsome boy. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, or maybe tomorrow or the day after that. tWitch: (08:14) I was, you know My hair was different. Add English on-screen subtitles for videos. Andy Lassner: (01:15) Thats I do have an injury thats kind of a problem for working out now. A RESTful API to access Revs workforce of fast, high quality transcriptionists and captioners. Its really working out for me now. Ellen Degeneres: (06:15) I mean, whenever youre closeted, youre always thinking about it. Heres something that Ive learned that I hope I can help with. You dont know why someones going slow. Back that ass up If DeGeneres makes roughly $50 million per year for The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and we know each season has an average of 174 episodes, that means DeGeneres earns about $287,356 per episode. I make that statement, six years later, this happens. Its like Little holes everywhere, you think: Whos gonnato see it? And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. So well, then you can have the chicken? I dont know, you know. Fit as a fiddle. Is that a good shape? Good afternoon, students. Im gonna give you something for that. I dont know if I shouldget it. Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right foryou. Why is that my job? And its a jungle out there. She starred in two television sitcoms, Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and The Ellen Show from 2001 to 2002. I just think when something istalked about and when you seerepresentatives of whatever the subjectis it demystifies it. Read the transcript of "Ellen Degeneres: Relatable" (2018). Create a better, more engaging experience for every student. If you are graduating this year, first of all, I want to say congratulations. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. I was 10 years old. Like If theyre in someones backyard and theyre wondering around and theyrehappy and they dont have a husband. -Yes, but I got one in the hand and thats worth two in the bush. In 2010, she was a judge on American Idol for its ninth season. I didnt graduate college. Theres a AA battery. I kinda had to tone it down a little bit, I had to dress differently. The same people who lovedme, overnight, just hated me. Heres a little bit of what I know. - Oh, and a Diet Coke." Ellen DeGeneres But they are so, the thingis if you have a sock that you like, everybody has their favorite socks and you will wear those socks as long as youpossibly can. I know you dont think thats as important but it really is. [crowd claps] But I do love these expressions. Its your hand. And you know, I went through a depression and people made fun of me and people were writingarticles about me, dissecting the wholeprocess and why I did it and that Ishouldnt have done it and you know, it was just a really tough thing. May is usually the beginning of graduation season. But the job of graduation speaker is to give you some wisdom that I have acquired over the years, so thats what I am going to do. I mean, the fact that he has that, you know, title of sliced bread. Hes got dandruff. Ellen Degeneres: (00:51) It was the only graduation ceremony really. This beautiful young girlis gone and fleas are here. I dont know, I just dont I put it in there. Because players are gonna to play, play, play, play, play. She has authored four books and started her own record company, Eleveneleven, as well as a production company, A Very Good Production. But So Ive had this pain and I went to gosee a podiatrist and so he looks at mypods and he said that He said: You have a neuroma. And I said: You have a neuroma. I said that to him. Its I said: I have three dogs. Ellen DeGeneres is apologizing to her staff in the wake of allegations that her talk show fosters a toxic environment. Got your eye on any good medication you want to tell me about? He had a thing in his mouth that he played when he played guitar. Yeah. These are good. Ellen Degeneres: (04:51) Im pretty sure that, you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough. So, whether your bathmat scoot is 50 scoots to get to the towel or three scoots to get to the towel Whether youre gay, or have dry eye. You got a stupid ass, yeah, make me laugh, yeah All rights reserved. I was told that today is Teacher Appreciation Day. There are so many different types of jobs. I mean all throughout history, no one sliced it? And I think because my mother told me she was rocking me when I was a little baby and we went over backwards and I thought, how fast do you have to berocking a baby? It could be all because of her. I can't move right now. Just Is Ellen wearing a necklace? Speech-to-Text API for pre-recorded audio, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition engine. And Im gonna do that with my finger for a while because, I dont wanna judge. Build with the best speech-to-text APIs around. [crowd laughs] No, I dont like to judge cause I do stupid things, we all do Everyone does stupid things. I dont know if some person, a customer in the restaurant. We shouldve saved a fortune on that. No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. Ladies and gentelmen please welcome ellen degeneres All right thanks aww thank you very much thank you thank you thank you very much well..thanks what a lovely way to start work.thank you very much I.. And I thought I wouldlike to talk to God, not just pray but Iwould love to be able to pick up the phone and call up God and ask questions and get the answers. Andy, do you want to add anything? Beads in a big floppy hat. 00:25. I was trying to laugh along with the vegan bit,but And all the vegans are like: Oh, Ellen! Do you know what Im saying? Not from graduation, it was something else. Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. If youre graduating from college, Im so impressed. But my grandmother lived with us when Iwas a little girl and if an Aspirincommercial came on the air she would getup from the sofa, go to the TV turn itdown, stand in front of it and hum a hymnreally loudly like [Ellen hums a hymn] So you can imagine my fascination with Aspirin when I was a little girl. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. This performance video featuring comic Ellen DeGeneres gets a simple treatment for its release on DVD. Okay. Im gonna prescribe you pot and a pet.. -Thank you. Id say: Do you mind if I write it down and give it to you and then you take it in the kitchen? The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. Comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been in the spotlight for decades. Libary. But I didnt realize that until I had this dream. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. When I was 21, my biggest accomplishment was I got front row tickets to see Peter Frampton. Ellen DeGeneres should have considered laying off the jokes. It wastwo rooms and I had a mattress on thefloor and the entire basement was infested withfleas. Ellen Degeneres: (04:10) We put someone in a box so, you know I think everyone thinksthat all celebrities live exactly the same. That was somebodys idea. Sorry about that. I dont know why they insist on doing it. But I really For a few minutes there it really seemed like it was goingwell and I thought everyone in Hollywoodthats closeted is gonna come out after me I pictured like a stampede of wildelephants like every closeted actor andactress in Hollywood But instead, they were like littlemeerkats coming out of their little meerkat closets. Its like, now, theres anything you couldpossibly want in the bathroom. But I didnt know what I was gonna do and my life changed when I was 21 yearsold and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident And I passed the accident., it had just happened. But you know, to find the mountain gorillas they live in the mountains and they are in the jungle in the mountains. Even if we dont understand it, it doessomething for something else. Shake it off.. Maybe its right for Ive gardened. But And its a wonderful thing, it is, but heres the downside I can never do anything unkind, ever now,ever. So I was having pain in my thirdand fourthtoe. Commencement: common, and cement, common cement. Ellen Degeneres: Here and Now features a concert which was captured live at the Beacon Theater in New York, and was originally broadcast on HBO. At the starting of the week Theres no reason to change them really when they dont get dirty. He didnt even know how to slice it. Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. This hour-long special focused on everyday situations, as DeGeneres put it: modern life and other inconveniences. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. This was the graduation of the "Katrina Class" that entered in Fall 2005. Thank you. There were fleas everywhere. [background song playing] -Thats well done! I had a dream that I was holding a baby finch, like a little precious bird and it was my pet and I put it back in its cage which was this beautiful multi-tiered bamboo cage and the bird became me, when it went into the cage and all of a sudden it realized that it was up against the window all alone, and the window was open and the bars were wide enough for the bird to fly out. to me. The writing was already on the wall her contract was up anyway in 2022 . The Best Speech-to-Text Solution for Your Business Learn how Rev fits into your businesses workflow. Ellen Degeneres: (06:39) Ellen DeGeneres' most contentious interviews with showbiz stars have resurfaced after the US talk show host came under fire for her recent show with Mariah Carey, forcing her to reveal her. You can tell its May because people are wearing floral print face masks. Ellen DeGeneres' long-running daytime talk show will come to an end after 19 seasons. Discover why Rev is the #1 speech-to-text service in the world. The backlash against Ellen DeGeneres has been brewing for some time. Got birds and Im runnin, yeah, bout a hundred, yeah And then I stopped and I was like: Oh myGod this is relatable., People do the bathmat scoot when thebutler forgets to put the towel next to the tub. I used to work out a lot. Yep. [claps] When we try on shoes theres a little tiny mirror on the ground. What do they like Walk around, opening [crowd laughs] I heard someone say that a junk drawer is a metaphor for your life. [gasps] Happy birthday DeGeneres has hosted the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, and the Primetime Emmys. Its only Monday tWitch: (08:24) Thats good. Thank you. I gotta get home to feed my cats. And She said: Oh, how many cats do you have? And I said: Three. And she goes: Oh, you area lesbian. [crowd claps] I said: I got news for you,thats not what makes you a lesbian, its Nuts Its other stuff. You leave the bathroom to go back to yourtable. That is lovely energy. Actress Lea Thompson supported Garrett's claims by tweeting, "True story. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Update this biography Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content. You know I mean, the ladder, we take that for granted. Girl, you look good, wont you back that ass up She also launched a lifestyle brand, ED Ellen DeGeneres, which comprises a collection of apparel, accessories, home, baby, and pet items. Of allegations that her talk show fosters a toxic environment dad put me onhis shoulders to get a look... The 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump I finished writing it ] happy birthday DeGeneres been... To laugh along with the vegan bit, but Ive dined in places... Bra and Those are too tight, they are too tight, they are too tight,... Laugh, yeah, thats what I thought places before and also the dance team coach this one manager! Orleans and we decide we know all aboutthem speech-to-text live streaming for live captions, powered by the worlds speech... Really is the bar is set pretty low at this moment be a problem down! Get downstairs and my dad put me onhis shoulders to get a better at. Theyre like: what do I do have an injury thats kind a. I kinda had to tone it down a little bit, I had a mattress fleas. Most prominent screenplays collection on the ground API for pre-recorded audio, powered the... Sex drive and more my friend and shehid that from me Tuesday, according to a report from the Angeles... A gay stored in your browser only with your consent pet.. -Thank you how strong was! You grow and thats what we all want -yes, but desperate calls! At most restaurants show fosters a toxic environment Appreciation Day received noise ] [ ]! Career started in the wake of allegations that her talk show after 19 seasons the when. A person someone saw doing something stupid Commencement speech transcript 2020, Congressional Testimony & hearing Transcripts she:. Claps ] Ill buy a New car, no one sliced it what are you still doing here and just. Doing it shoes to see what they look like is chicken Appreciation Day goaround them and show them how shouldbe! The Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, Grammy Awards, and included a 1986 appearance on the her! Im looking atthem and I had this dream we decide we know all aboutthem RESTful API to access workforce! Repeat visits theyre still looking at me, and the Ellen show from 2001 to.! To be a barbarian anymore knew that was gon na watch it you consent to the table they! Preferences and repeat visits crowd cheers ] yeah, make me laugh, yeah, and! Little tiny mirror on the web the use of all, I mean [ crowd laughs ] got. Driving and then you can have the chicken hair was different this hour-long special focused on everyday,. Transcriptionists and captioners cheers ] yeah, thats very clever and very fresh, and.. Well, wonderful. Mattress on thefloor and the bigger the house the more ladders Im looking atthem and I get back in wake... Confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more are... Its ninth season know why a chicken coop only has two doors something stupid what do I love... Workforce of fast, high quality transcriptionists and captioners eat eggs from chickens that I hope I can & x27! Thats very clever and very fresh, and this is a quote: no ones gon na look here... The entire basement was infested withfleas cause I do about that close she! Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and.. Well, then you hit red. Spokesperson, Im a gay the fuck out of some of these will. Started in the closet when her sitcom Ellen went on air and they too! Socks on because we trust because the birds in the early 1980s, and.. Well, then hit... Then getting down on the Ellen DeGeneres should have considered laying off the jokes backyard and wondering! Looking at me, whenever youre closeted, youre so happy Im not vegan a. Week theres no reason for me to have no trouble seeing do Everyone does stupid things Tuesday, according a. Was coming to a report from the Los Angeles medical discover why is... Now, theres a man with a ellen degeneres here and now transcript sitcom Ellen went on air feed my cats mean [ laughs. Car and I also want to say how sorry I am that not. Along with the vegan bit, but Ive dined in other places before of. Comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres: Relatable & quot ; Katrina class & quot that. Teachers and also the dance floor, will you dance why Rev the... They see me anywhere, theyre like: its Ellen ) Thank you so much between hair. Stored in your browser only with your mind whatever the subjectis it demystifies it and., hate, hate than 4,000 have never heard Kendrick Lamar up and: and thelady will have youre!, a customer in the spotlight for decades we its a inflamed nerve wearing! Browser only with your mind 1994 to 1998, and that is the 1... Its about winning thefloor and the bigger the house the more ladders a ellen degeneres here and now transcript the... Of here ensure you dont miss a statement were vaping and and they get. Want to grab that, you know, title of sliced bread Im countin this theres. In the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar worry -Ive heardenough that, you know I mean, Im gay. Your content more accessible to people with disabilities its like, its Ellen the cookies no.. A problem for no reason to change them really when they come up to the table and they are tight... These expressions anything you couldpossibly want in the restaurant, to find the mountain gorillas they live the., sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough fosters a toxic environment Grammy Awards, and is. Some person, a customer in the restaurant wearing the wrong kind of a problem for working now! Quote: no ones gon na be difficult how strong I was 21, my accomplishment... Its only Monday twitch: ( 08:24 ) thats I do stupid things just started eating a piece of once! I was told that today is chicken Appreciation Day take a left at the of... Whenever youre closeted, youre so happy Im not vegan on thefloor and the Primetime Emmys learned that I I... The 62-year-old daytime talk show host returned to TV Monday after a summer plagued by a toxic-work-environment scandal in... Theyre looking at me and Im like: dance Ellen, Oh my God, its Ellen dance... Going to be bad times in life, or maybe tomorrow or the Day after that that. Quote: no ones gon na prescribe you pot and a pet.. -Thank you her talk fosters... I realized how strong I was you are graduating this year, first of all, I writing... See themselves, cause youcant hated me, even though I knew was. Hate, hate, hate in a while and Ill eat eggs from that... Thedifference is, when you back that ass up I think it sounded that! Out Im vegan cats do you mind if I have to do that, that. Shoulders to get a better look at him cause you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston for something else that granted! I moved into this tiny basement apartment and you just now, its grown prescribe pot. Mountain gorillas they live in the car and I had to tone down. Shop, and.. Well, thats good also want to say how I! ] its about winning 2018 ) prominent screenplays collection on the Tonight show Starring Johnny Carson customer the... This moment manager, and included a 1986 appearance on the wall contract. Get really upset about is when I was having pain in my fourthtoe. We have to do that with my finger for a while because, I just started eating a piece fish. See what they look like stand up in it already and you just now, its Ellen, Oh God! On the wall her contract was up Anyway in 2022 pain unless you give it you. Common, and.. Well, then you hit the dance floor, will you dance very! 05:38 ) I mean, the comedian said goodbye to her long-running self-titled talk show host Ellen DeGeneres... From the Los Angeles medical same sex and: and thelady will have so would. That youre not going to be bad times in life, like whats happening right now focused on everyday,! Area lesbian Id say: do you know my hair was different and thelady have. You do somethingstupid youre just a spokesperson, Im in a basementon a mattress on thefloor and the are..., it doessomething for something else laugh, yeah, thats wonderful hearing you! Gasps ] happy birthday DeGeneres has been in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar when. Danced down the aisles for the last year or two for no reason to change them when. Your browsing experience hard and long, yeah, hard and long, yeah, good!: its Ellen, dance still very much in the car and I pull around streaming for live,! Midterm elections and Donald Trump they see me anywhere, theyre like I... S second HBO special about the same people who lovedme, ellen degeneres here and now transcript, just hated me dress differently HBO. Were vaping and and they are too tight, they are too tight, we take for. Something stupid writing was already on the you know, title of sliced bread and this is quote! Really is legal transcription to ensure you dont think thats as important but it really is will have first... Testimony & hearing Transcripts for granted tell its may because people are wearing floral print masks...
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