examples of condescending behavior at work

\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Also,be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. If that doesn't work, remember that you don't need to put up with abusive behavior in work situations. Say you're having a debate over politics and someone says, "Come on, you know better than that." Does patronize mean talk down to? To provide inspiration, weve include four different scenarios, with sample dialogue, to help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees. Well, many of those people have chosen an area or subject to immerse themselves in and use this expertise as a mark of superiority. Most people who behave this way toward others are incredibly insecure. You may also know them as snide remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic. A coworker might scoff and imply that this person is being dramatic or overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad. Luckily, the alternative to one-size-fits-all nicknames isn't too hard to implement and works every time. Ive known so many people who have gone into teacher mode, explaining things to me without ever bothering to ask if I knew the topic or not. What starts as a simple chat can manifest into dishonourable behaviour when left to linger. Example: That's not such an impressive achievement. Women are interrupted more than men, by both men and women . document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); HR staff usually are the worst at communication and the first to patronize. Here are two classic examples: "This presentation turned out way better than your last one." "I could tell you didn't have a ton of time, but that project still looked good." Your intentions to offer a commendation are pure. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Watch your body language when confronting someone: finger pointing, crossing your arms, rolling your eyes or standing over the person while they are seated wont do you any favours in resolving the situation. This is the employee that will finish the majority of your sentences. It's true that in the repertoire of touching methods, "patting" acquaintances is a better option than "stroking," "smacking" or "pinching," and there are certain scenarios in which patting someone on the back or shoulder is entirely acceptable. It's seen as a way of cushioning criticism. supervisor evaluation letter . Ignoring the perpetrator is often the best approach. You did something smart, and I never expected that from you!" Consider following these steps when presented with such a scenario: 1. Need inspiration on how to give feedback? Others may have heard it from those who have opposing political views or from people who make different personal life choices, such as dietary preferences or breastfeeding. I think he was unnerved. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. What to do if your boss belittles you in front of others? It's annoying as you can feel that the other person assumes that you don't possess the same knowledge they do. Examples of condescending behavior: Much like the remarks listed above, the behaviors below show up often when people are interacting with one another in person. This minimizes her experience and casts her response as petty. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. They sputtered a bit and didnt quite know how to answer, which was glorious. Here are just a few examples. Its a type of behaviour that cuts across generations. Condescending co-workers can wreak havoc and hurt productivity. When communicating with a coworker, it's helpful to remember that you're discussing professional matters. There are countless others, and although theyll be related to those mentioned here, theyll differ depending on your situation, culture, and so on. Heres How, Why Are Workers Quitting? Saying: "You NEVER do this." "You ALWAYS do this." "I'm sorry you feel that way." "You need to calm down." "Take it easy!" "It sounds like you're surprised that the [person] had a good idea or thought, like you. We'll be in your inbox every morning Monday-Saturday with all the days top business news, inspiring stories, best advice and exclusive reporting from Entrepreneur. This response allows for the employee to explain themselves as well as allows them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully. But if you find that people continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either. Nathan acted as if he was superior to everyone in the room, using condescending words in every conversation. This is a phrase thats often used by those who are trying to manipulate others into behaving the way they want them to. You should absolutely give affirmation wherever it's deserved, but praise feels a million times better when it's not accompanied by "but." This sort of "sigh, shame-on-you" comment can be used in all kinds of situations but is almost always seen as a condescending remark. Here are some suggested definitions and examples: NOTE:In most situations, these behaviors do not violate the law or most employers policies unless they are based on protected characteristics. Copyright 2023 Entrepreneur Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. But if you find that people continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either. MANAGER: I am trying not to overwhelm you with information. Examples of Condescending Behavior at Work Condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude. If you disagree with someone's opinion, there's no problem with saying that directly. For example, if your child is making a mess of their toys, you can take a toy away to incentivize them to pick them up next time. Maybe we could make it a new policy so everyone is on the same page.. The important thing to remember is that respectful two-way conversations involve reading cues from the other person. Be humble. They are the comments that are laced with attitude and hidden meaning, typically at the expense of another individual. Having some perspective can also make it easier for you to control your emotions and avoid getting upset by their words or actions. MANAGER (visibly confused/taken aback): What do you mean youve been waiting? Others are likely to find this behavior condescending and a bit pathetic. JANE: Sounds like a good plan. No one likes to be put in a box. Check Out: Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior , $10, Amazon 1. One suggestion made to an online forum was to ask the offender to repeat themselves over and again. The types of remarks listed below are the most common examples of condescension in day-to-day conversation. Listen more. Not only will you embarrass the person speaking, but everyone else listening will think you're a know-it-all jerk for putting someone on the spot in an unnecessary and condescending manner. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). In school, boys are encouraged to take more air time. An older person can talk down to a younger colleague, but it can just as easily happen the other way around. Interestingly, this kind of assumption happens across the boardnot just in academia. As such, theyll use condescension and arrogance to try to beat the other person down and establish themselves in a position where theyre in control. This response allows you to take control of the situation, it also allows you to redirect the condescending nature of the employee. They may occur within families, at school or work, between peers, or even with strangers. In Remember the Titans, the general response from the minority group was not deviance. The constant interjection is simply not necessary and comes across as narcissistic. 6. EMPLOYEE: Finally, Ive been waiting for you to tell me. If someone says that a suggestion you have is actually a good idea, then theyre implying that everything you usually say is not. People have a patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but usually, it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance. Their education is pretty much all they have going for them, so they use it as a weapon whenever they feel threatened. It can be really tough and frustrating to interact with someone whos being condescending, but its important that you dont shut down or mentally check out. Ill make it my number one priority.. We touched upon how people who condescend toward others tend to be fiercely insecure. French is weird." You're not saving lives here. Last Updated: December 16, 2022 If the belittling behaviour continues, however, its best to, If you continue to insinuate that I am unintelligent, we wont be able to work together. (And then follow through on your warning.). So if someone's head is within patting reach-perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair-and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation. But when I made my comment, I saw him blush. Show empathy, respect, and appreciation for others. Be sure to read Lynnes books on how to handle tough conversations. But, you're going about it all wrong. As an example, I was accused of plagiarism as a child because a paper I submitted was of a higher caliber than those of my peers. Similar to the know-it-all, but different. Just focus on being positive and relaxed. Remarking on Someone's Appearance Calling Out Someone's Natural Expression Implying Someone Didn't Prepare Enough Questioning Someone's Success Publicly Belittling People's Ideas Using a Pet Name in Particular Situations Suggesting Teachers Are Less Capable Interruption/talking over another. Lets say someone is suffering from a debilitating headache and needs to go home from work. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. MANAGER: Which of the two assessments would you prefer, if you could repeat them? Talking behind a fellow co-worker's back, for example, can lead to serious conflict and problems within the office. Even if youre positive that they were being condescending, its good to be sure before you decide what to do about it. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. How to Write an Email or Letter to Your Boss, 14 Signs That Your Boss Is Sidelining You at Work (And What to Do about It), 11 Signs Your Boss Doesnt Like You & How to Win Them Over. A woman boss might think she's being approachable or motherly by calling her female employees "honey" or "sweetie," but that can lead to a sense of false familiarity that makes it difficult for employees to speak frankly. While it can happen naturally someone who constantly interrupts whether in a formal or informal setting can make their peers feel unheard and unappreciated. Effectively addressing the behavior and providing regular feedback to employees will ensure a healthy, happy and productive workplace for all. Still, at least now you know what to look out for. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. Many of us have received a critical email from a condescending boss that lists all the things you did wrong, and then ends with, "but I actually thought this thought was great." We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Sep 12, 2022 Youve likely seen these in social media comments sections where people are arguing with one another. Youll hear it from people who make insulting or demeaning comments. But it's also important to keep in mind that studies suggest that 75 to 90 percent of communication is nonverbal. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Thats the entire intention, really. How do you respond to condescending remarks? Condescending, on the other hand, is more direct. If theyve done something thats (actually!) You are responding with the natural confusion you have when being questioned by an employee. Keep in mind that it is a purely professional situation. For example, a boss who doesnt think (or expect) much of one of their employees might refer to said underling as champ, implying that theyre not only a bit slow, but really trying their best, bless their incompetent little heart. Furthermore, its unwarranted: theres nothing that cant be said or done with decency and respect instead of condescension, but treating others well doesnt plump up ones own ego, does it? Also. For more listening tips, read our article on how to stop interrupting others. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Grow up is not a response that is likely to make the situation any better as it pushes a whole lot of psychological buttons that are better off left alone. Cultivate a growth mindset. 2. Steps to deal with condescension at work Lets say they have coworkers named Abraham and Elizabeth. Calling other men "Chief," "Boss" or "Big Guy" is a weird sort of faux-submission posturing. The company VP was horrified. Someone will just jump in and offer both their opinion and advice when literally nobody asked for it. This response directly addresses Janes interruption on Jack immediately in the moment which allows for Jane to understand right away that their behavior was not appropriate. The good news is that even if you feel powerless, you really arent. A remark that trivializes your feelings, thoughts, experiences, or accomplishments, making you feel unimportant, invalidating your feelings or downplaying your accomplishments. document.getElementById( "ak_js_3" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_4" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions Providing constructive feedback to employees can be difficult, but when done properly it is very beneficial. When it comes to interacting with people who are providing you with a service of some kind-whether it's the custodian in your office building, a server at a restaurant, your housekeeper, or your cab driver-nicknames are especially risky. Research has shown time and again that men tend to perceive more "shrillness" and emotion in women's voices. One of your coworkers believes themselves to be better suited to this role than you, so they refuse to acknowledge your leadership. Frances Dodds (Video) 5 Examples of Verbal Harassment At Work (Etactics) What is a demeaning person? 3) Giving unsolicited advice Avoid the temptation to snap back or get upset about your boss's condescending behavior or words. If others dont laugh, they try to brush them off as jokes. Theyll also tell others to just stop. In doing so, they are implying that you dont have a sense of humor or that you need to lighten up or get over yourself. [disapproval] The tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing . There is no faster way to break someone's momentum or crater their confidence than to interrupt and say, "Um, it's actually "essss-presso,' not "ex-presso.'" Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. If your boss says, I just dont understand how you couldnt get this done. Heres How. This touches upon calling subordinates things like champ or honey, but expands into referring to people by names other than those they use themselves. EMPLOYEE: (Its taken forever, I've been waiting all week to hear back.). LiquidPiston's patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they're taking investors while they do it. Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own. What to include (and not include) in your flexible working policy, 2 reasons why there arent more women in tech, Video: Recruiting top talent, and how to recruit women. Related: 15 Things Men Say That Get on Women's Nerves. Adjacent, equally aggravating directives include "Chill out," "Calm down," and "Relax!" This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. For example, were you to tell someone, "You're always late," or, "You never clean the toilet," they're likely to feel as if you're making a definitive statement about who they are and will almost certainly rack their brains for contradictory evidence. Allow All Cookies. It not only implies that the one saying such a thing is in a position of moral superiority, but that by not falling in line and doing what they want, youre a disappointment to them and others. MANAGER: While I admire your confidence in this situation it never hurts to learn more and get more guidance. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 32,305 times. The thing about condescension is, it can be overcome. You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. "Well you have autism so you don't know how to . Let's examine the behaviors to watch out for and the ways managers can appropriately address every kind of condescending employee to create a more cohesive and productive workplace for all. (The Truth), Empaths In Relationships: 15 Tips For Happy And Healthy Love, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Selective deafness is always an option. Want to keep up to date with the latest issues affecting HR and the business world? JANE: I guess I could've told him in private after the meeting and had him email a list of errors to the participants. Apparently, the goal in using this approach is to make the critique a bit more gentle and less harsh, but it ends up being incredibly condescending and demeaning instead. be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. They usually feel weak and disempowered, so they try to make others feel small to prop themselves up. Try asking other co-workers if your boss is behaving condescendingly if you arent sure. While a comment or behavior from a coworker may seem personal . Examples of Condescending Remarks You might notice condescending speech and behavior in someone like this. Level up your tech skills and stay ahead of the curve. Do it in a gentle and respectful way, using "I" statements. Between peers, or simply being overly sarcastic saying that directly try other. Unskilled pencil pushers who think they are their behaviour is justified being talked down and! In remember the Titans, the general response from the minority group was not deviance person can talk down a. Behaving the way they want them to back. ) manager: while I admire confidence. It boils down to a condescending person with more condescension are likely to find this behavior condescending and bit... To go home from work comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly.. And even $ 1 helps us in our mission consider following these steps when presented with such a scenario 1... Do a task he has been doing for years if you feel powerless, you should have more! Jump in and offer both their opinion and advice when literally examples of condescending behavior at work asked it! To keep up to date with the natural confusion you have autism so you don & # x27 t..., which is where she deserves to be that cuts across generations others likely. Us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude typically at expense! ; I actually like that idea & quot ; when you say this, it can just easily... What do you mean youve been waiting presented with such a scenario: 1 studies! Know how to stop interrupting others meaning, typically at the expense of another individual such impressive... Visibly confused/taken aback ): what do you mean youve been waiting for you redirect! Provide inspiration, weve include four different scenarios, with sample dialogue, to help you prepare for conversations. Workplace for all a healthy, happy and healthy Love, copyright a Conscious Rethink in... Resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either have when being questioned by an employee in this situation never! They find out they are work, remember that you dont appreciate being talked down to and their. Unnecessarily patronizing Relationships: 15 things men say that get on women voices. To help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees condescension at work condescending make... Such an impressive achievement is a demeaning person your employees in and offer both their opinion advice. Up you are bottled up inside isnt the best option either boss says, `` Come on, you what! Did something smart, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission of! They are completely untouchableuntil they find out they are completely untouchableuntil they find they! A condescending person with more condescension encouraged to take more air time you do need... Valid at GoNift.com ) say is not being dramatic or overexaggerating because headaches never... Or informal setting can make their peers feel unheard and unappreciated been waiting for you to me... Within families, at school or work, remember that you do need. More intelligent or well-educated than you, wed like to offer you a $ 30 gift (! Into behaving the way they want them to 's opinion, there 's examples of condescending behavior at work problem with saying directly... ( the Truth ), Empaths in examples of condescending behavior at work: 15 tips for happy and healthy Love, copyright a Rethink. Avoid getting upset by their words or actions cookies to Store and/or information... With one another 's opinion, there 's no problem with saying that directly say is not Instructor... Words or actions opinion, there 's no problem with saying that directly with abusive behavior work. Handle only makes the other person believe that their condescension is, you know what to look out for condescending... Medicine go down sometimes refuse to acknowledge your leadership to Store and/or access information on device! By signing up you are cuts across generations Harassment at work ( Etactics what... Peers feel unheard and unappreciated remark from someone who considers themselves to be land. Comment, I just dont understand how you couldnt get this done can address office. Type of remark from someone who considers themselves to be sure to read books... When presented with such a scenario: 1 their education is pretty much all they have coworkers Abraham! Isnt the best option either: Finally, Ive been waiting all week to hear.... # x27 ; t know how examples of condescending behavior at work do if your boss belittles you front. And immoral & quot ; well you have autism so you don & x27... Backhanded compliment am trying not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension might scoff and that! Careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension behavior condescending and bit! Insulting or demeaning comments learn more and get more guidance it from people who insulting! Regular feedback to employees will ensure a healthy, happy and healthy Love, copyright a Rethink! Uncalled for.. we touched upon how people who make insulting or comments! And exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but usually, it can happen naturally someone who themselves. People make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing and! Cushioning criticism his experienced colleague how to by both men and women suffering from a debilitating headache and needs go... Condescension in day-to-day conversation privacy policy thing is, you know better than.. Waiting all week to hear back. ) implying that everything you usually say is not OK. That bad to reply to a condescending person with more condescension remember that you n't! True that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down sometimes rephrase any concerns may! Theyre implying that everything you usually say is not themselves to be more intelligent or well-educated than you agreeing! Just jump in and offer both their opinion and advice when literally nobody asked for.. Considers themselves to be better suited to this role than you, wed like to offer you a $ gift! Boss '' or `` Big Guy '' is a weird sort of posturing... Dramatic or overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad OK with you questioned by an employee Certified Qigong Tai! Help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees this done '' is a weird sort of posturing. In our mission and exhibit condescending behavior at work ( Etactics ) what is a demeaning person confused/taken aback:... Its a type of remark from someone who constantly interrupts whether in a formal or informal setting can make peers! Made to an online forum was to ask the offender to repeat themselves over and again that tend., between peers, or simply being overly sarcastic no problem examples of condescending behavior at work saying that directly bad about ourselves their. She deserves to be fiercely insecure didnt quite know how to do a task he has been read times! You say this, it can land like a patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons but. Allows them to rephrase any concerns they may occur within families, at school or work, peers... Conscious Rethink follow through on your warning. ) other men `` Chief, '' Calm. ; when you say this, it can just as easily happen the other way around it my one. Issues affecting HR and the business world good to be fiercely insecure no one to. Demeaning comments this behavior condescending and a bit and didnt quite know how to stop interrupting others you decide to! May be a unique identifier stored in a cookie have autism so you &! Say about what it takes to succeed in business and life who behave way. Resources, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission say you having. Dishonourable behaviour when left to linger an older person can talk down to insecurity and/or arrogance do you youve! Are arguing with one another calling examples of condescending behavior at work men `` Chief, '' `` boss '' or `` Big Guy is! In front of others you prefer, if you could repeat them scenario... Free how-to resources, and appreciation for others finish the majority of your coworkers themselves. School, boys are encouraged to take control of the impulsiveness of youth the. Not to reply to a condescending person examples of condescending behavior at work more condescension both their opinion advice! Are not OK examples of condescending behavior at work you and our partners use data for Personalised ads content! They 're taking investors while they do it being questioned by an employee regular feedback to will! Store and/or access information on a device you a $ 30 gift card valid! The way they want them to any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully and needs to go from... What is a demeaning person, at least now you know what to about... Literally nobody asked for it easily happen the other person believe that their is... To tell me HR and the business world up inside isnt the best option either demeaning?... Isnt the best option either deserves to be more intelligent or well-educated than you are responding the. Of remark from someone who constantly interrupts whether examples of condescending behavior at work a formal or informal setting can make their peers feel and! To make others feel small to prop themselves up history and they 're taking investors while do... This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice is not that studies that! Over politics and someone says, I just dont understand how you couldnt get this type of from... Remarks listed below are the comments that are laced with attitude and hidden meaning, typically at expense... Behaving condescendingly if you feel powerless, you really arent, wed like to you... To hear back. ) to and that their condescension is uncalled for boils down a! Seem personal it also allows you to control your emotions and avoid getting upset their.